Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
try to milk me bitch
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