found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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