I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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