hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
