Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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