i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
When did angry sex become our thing?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
