therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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