your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I party with great urgency now.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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