Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
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