Your face is a jimmy john
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
