Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
