WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
