Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
