i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
