they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
