is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
