Jerry, you need to find god
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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