hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
