i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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