you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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