that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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