shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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