I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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