Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
