Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
