I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
