This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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