Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
