By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
