went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm both gender and math confused
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
