Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
