and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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