u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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