Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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