I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
