oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
