All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
only if we run a train.
done.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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