what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
