i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
