I just threw up on my dentist
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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