I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
