what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
you had me at cake vodka
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
