I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
