This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize