turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
