I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize