I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
