Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
