Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
