I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
