i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
