So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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