Will you blow on my dice?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just want to make out with him forever
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
