Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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