3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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