Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
