Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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