she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
