I feel like abortions should bother me more
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
