just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
