Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
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