Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
