this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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