the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
